juvEniLe

.restless.

2005-06-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

Oh, how my head hurts...maybe next time i'll have to think twice before i decide to wake up at about 12pm. Last night i was on the phone, talking with my friend clarissa, and i was very happy to know that she's enjoying herself at her new school, with those BUNCH of admirers. No wonder, Clarissa is very amiable and adorable most of the time...(if she's reading this, she's obliged to treat me a Mocha Frappe Grande at Starbucks on Wednesday..hahaha). God, i really miss these guys, my miNx buddies who have always been my laugh trip buddies, partners in crime, shoulders to lean on and the other "commons" of being THE ideal friend. However, God is really good for He did not leave me abandoned, He even provided me with more friends now that i am in college...and helped me find ways wherein i could still reach my kabarkadas. Next Wednesday i am looking forward to some bonding time with them, together with Ygh, a sweet and reliable pal...but I hope my schedule would permit such event. You know college life, it isn't always a bed of roses.

.(sigh)...I can laugh again.

2005-05-05T04:48:00.000-07:00

I admit it was entirely MY mistake. It was a huge regret on my part to answer back my mother. Aside from the fact that Mother's Day is fast approaching (what was the date again?!) I realized that I am weak and utterly depressed when I am not at peace with someone, especially if it would be my own mother. I should learn that humility is the key when all my efforts to appease her raging anger are just being neglected. Though we are both fiery individuals, I, being the young and apparently being the broadminded facet should lower my red flag and without inhibitions wave my clean white flag. Therefore, I announce that I, with all due respect admit my err and am humbly asking for her forgiveness. Yesterday, May 4, 2005...was a momentous ceasefire between me and my mom. Peace reigned. I love my mother. Happy Mother's Day Mama!

.fleeting hours.

2005-03-23T19:02:00.000-08:00

Sheesh, talk about major bummer...what could be more disappointing than spending the summer without a plan? Yes, a plan...a plan which spells FUN, FUN, FUN, the beach, the shorts, the tankini, the sunblock lotion and the countless stares. I could already picture my summer vacation in my mind - at home, looking haggard and restless. How come? You ask? It's because there's a ton of things to do but I don't think that I would be doing these things due to my friends various commitments and my own commitments regarding the college I will be entering in June. I just graduated from high school last Wednesday, March 30, and then I was thrilled to be turning a new page in my life as a student, however, I was also overcomed by utter sadness for the hounding truth that I'm moving out from my beloved school which I had considered as my second home for 8 years. Oh gosh, I'm getting all teary-eyed. Surely, I'll be missing each person who became a part of my life in that institution...each humorous break and boring discussion...the countless sermons...the boisterous guffaws and flattering compliments. These people can never be replaced by anyone in my lifetime and I'll be looking forward to coming back to St. Scholastica's Academy and expressing to these people how grateful I'm that they have molded me into becoming such. Hence, I will strive to be someone who they could be proud of one day in the future. But now, I will have to deal with my current dilemma and that will be...planning my summer vacation! Let me give you a peek of my summer to-do list: Driving lessons, summer job, dorm-hunting, shopping, bringing my little sister to school for her piano lessons, swimming with my friends, movie marathons and probably spending more time with my special someone. Sigh...I really want to do something worthwhile aside from spending hours in front of my PC coz the summer heat is killing me. Anyway, happy summer guys!

.stealing smiles.

2005-03-15T04:31:00.001-08:00

stealing? a crime...a violation of the 7th Commandment...the root and cause of poverty...these are just some ideas associated with the activity of stealing. Each kind or form of stealing has an equivalent punishment or consequence since the one who stole has deprived the victim of his/her right to a particular material possession. Hey, I don't want to sound like a know-it-all lawyer who intends to accuse someone of stealing...I' am, as a matter of fact, an adolescent who has been robbed...yes, a VICTIM of stealing. But, don't jump into conclusions yet...because I wasn't robbed of anything concrete or expensive...she stole one thing that for me was the most precious and the most effective thing which could make hearts melt. She stole my smile. From the moment I realized that the person who I wholly trusted and whole-heartedly loved was keeping secrets from me...secrets which made me look naive and unaware...secrets which tested my patience...secrets which provoked my jealousy...secrets which brought me back to reality...I knew a gotta dump this person. Yesterday, everything was through between us. Yesterday, I gained back my pride, my self-respect and confidence but I lost the relationship, I lost the admiration and I lost the person I loved. However, amidst the gain there was this thing that I haven't recovered until now...and the people around me have noticed it. They miss my laughter, my sudden outbursts and corny jokes, they miss my genuine humor and the smile that they could never vanquish through "pang-aasar"...simply because I rarely get mad or "pikon" and when I do I make sure that it isn't too obvious. Why does she have to take with her my happiness, how greedy can she get? Until when should I deal with the dilemma of losing my cheerfulness? Hey,(you now who you are) please... give it back... God, I miss my smile=C

.struggle.

2005-03-06T20:39:00.000-08:00

hello. gosh...mah 1st blog entry;-) so y give it the title- "struggle" f i want to create somthin' memorable and worth readin' for mah first blog...hmmm, well, maybe it's bcoz m caught in a struggle...a caught-between-two-courses kind of struggle. ei, u haven't got a clue yet??? well, f u do hav any...u may be ryt, m a 4th year high school graduating student. I consider mah situation a struggle coz m hounded by too many influences...the biggest would be my beloved parents. I love my parents dearly, make no doubt about it...but they want me to take up Nursing in college so that I could make lots of bucks in the US. i actually liked the idea at first but when i realized this would involve chemistry (arrrrggghhh...i kinda flunked that subject which triggered the loss of mah slot in the top 10 of our whole school in mah junior year;c) i kinda felt reluctant. The other course m eyeing is Communication Arts...coz it involves a lot of talking!...hehehe=) Naaah, but kidding aside i really like this course coz i really find the dynamics really interesting. Anyway, though i'm proud to say that i was accepted at the Ateneo for my 1st choice which is ComTech...the recently held Open House kinda bursted mah bubble...coz from my demo class for ComTech i was enlighted on what that course really is...and man, i found out i had only 3 major English subjects and the rest would be MATH>MATH>MATH! In case your wondering, ehem, i ain't really a math wiz...but i do survive;-) Uh-oh...where to now?! well, i myt as well start weighing mah priorities and start thinking now before it's too late. ei, wish me luck;-p